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Archive for the ‘Political Satire’ Category

Al Franken
This post was originally posted at The New Democrat Plus

Going back about twenty-years here to 1996, this was I guess March of 1996, but they were already counting votes for the 1996 presidential election between President Bill Clinton and Leader Bob Dole. They just decided to wait eight months to tell everyone. Because this presidential election was already over because Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich had to sit in the back of Air Force One. And threw a temper tantrum and stopped doing his impersonation of a middle age adult. And went back to being a thirteen-year old little boy who was just told he can’t have ice cream and cake for dinner. And as a result decided to shut down the U.S. Government.

The 1996 presidential election was one of the quickest in American history. Not as quick as 1984 with Walter Mondale and Ronald Reagan. Where Vice President Mondale decided to concede the election at 3PM EST on Election Day, but still a very quick election. Bob Dole was stuck between Speaker Newt Gingrich and President Bill Clinton. And was trying to get Newt’s fat ass off of his back and take on the best politician in America at least since Ron Reagan. In a country where the economy was booming and where we were essentially at peace with the rest of the world. Other than being peacekeepers in the Balkans.

And I think that was the major motivations of these political investigations in the Republican Congress against President Clinton. Especially with Senator Al Damato’s Banking Committee investigation into the so-called Whitewater story. Bob Dole is a very good if not great man who has given a lot to America and one of the most distinguished people who has ever served in Congress and who accomplished a lot there in his thirty-five years in Congress. Including being Senate Republican Leader for eleven years. But he wasn’t going to beat Bill Clinton and all of Washington knew that including the Republican Leadership.

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This post was originally posted at The New Democrat on WordPress

The Vietnam War was an obvious mistake at least looking back it lets say 40-45 years later, but the U.S. Government knew it was an obvious mistake by 1967-68. They knew the war was lost by then and continued to fight it anyway because Lyndon Johnson and Richard Nixon wanted to look tough and not be the first American president to lose a war. You don’t fight other people’s wars in places you are not prepared to fight in that your own people aren’t prepared to fight in. Especially when the people there that you’re supposed to be fighting for won’t fight for themselves. A huge lesson from the Vietnam War.

As far as communism, if communism is as Whoopie Goldberg described it about people acting together for the betterment of the country under the direction of their government and not an authoritarian ideology similar to Islamism, then how is communism different from socialism. Because that is what socialism is about that if you have a lot of individualism and individual freedom some people will do very well and others won’t for whatever the reasons. But if you put a lot of the resources all into one big collectivist pot managed by the central government, then everyone will thrive. Because no one will have too much or not enough.
Vietnam War

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This post was originally posted at FRS Daily Times on Blogger

You might not be aware of this, but Richard Nixon is Jimmy Carter’s hero and best friend. President Carter sends President Nixon, literally one President to another a birthday and Christmas card very year. As well as pound cake every year, well at least up until 1994 when President Nixon died. Actually President Carter still sends President Nixon those gifts in heaven or hell, you know wherever President Nixon is currently residing. You’re probably wondering why in the name of Judas would a Liberal Democrat be sending a Republican these gifts.

Well I’ll tell you if you must really know. Without Richard Nixon throwing the next presidential election away to the Democratic Party back in 1973-74 or whenever President Nixon got involved in the Watergate Scandal, that Democrats would’ve thrown the 1976 presidential election back to President Ford. Like two bad quarterbacks opposing each other and throwing interceptions. Unless Jimmy Carter was the Democratic nominee, Jimmy Carter would’ve never been President of the United States. Or someone like him at least up until today, we would’ve never had a President that was just like the American people.

Which is what Jimmy Carter was in many ways, which would’ve been a very good thing. Because we have a lot of ignorant people in America and we need a President that’s much better than that in order to govern the country. This is America, it aint Haiti this is the major leagues of the world. And we probably could’ve avoided or handled a lot of the problems we faced as a country with someone better as President. I’m a Liberal Democrat, but looking back now and it should’ve been obvious back in 1975-76. The wrong guy won in 1976.

Gerry Ford was much more qualified, prepared and up to the job of being President of the United States than Jimmy Carter could’ve ever been.Aand is one reason why President Carter the incumbent President lost in a landslide to Ron Reagan in 1980. Again two reasons how Jimmy Carter was elected President of the United States in 1976. Watergate, the Republican Party holding the White House for eight years. And a lot of the problems we were facing as a country happening under their watch. Whether it was Nixon-Ford’s fault or not and some of them were.

A sitting President who has been on the federal payroll since 1947. Serving as a US. Rep., House Minority Leader, Vice President of the United States and of course President of the United States, is another way of saying sitting duck when it comes to politics. But of course you have the Democratic Party that did almost everything they could to throw the election. Again like a bad QB, hopefully unintentionally, but who knows. Like their presidential nominee giving away details to Playboy Magazine of all publications, like how he felt about women to use as an example. That no one in their right mind would say while they are sober. His daughter saying some strange things as well.

Jimmy Carter won the Democratic nomination basically by default because of his lack of competition, like with Hubert Humphrey. Where the term filibuster was created for who had a speech off the top of his head about anything. The man could spend an hour straight greeting someone, who seem to have an interest in everything. Including things that he never heard of. George Wallace, of course not electable nationally. Jimmy Carter was basically the right candidate at the right time and won by default. Because America was looking for an outsider someone as good or as mediocre as them to be their President.
Electoral Map

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This post was originally posted at FRS Daily Times on Blogger

The 1980 Presidential Election wasn’t interesting because of how close it was, because that presidential election was decided over the weekend. Actually it was decided by 8 PM on election night. The Carter Campaign just didn’t know that yet and you can make a case that presidential campaign was over after the debates. Where the American people were clearly in the mood for a change. The economy was in the toilet with high unemployment, interests and inflation rates. With of course another recession in 1980.

America being embarrassed by third world Islamic terrorists in Iran. And with Russia on the march in the Middle East. And the only outstanding question and it wasn’t an outstanding question because of how intelligent a question it was, but because it was the only question that was left on the table and to put to finally sum up a long question, that might feel like a story now, was Ronald Reagan competent, sane and still alive.

Ronny answered all those questions in the affirmative in the debates, which is why he won something like 56% of the popular vote and forty States. The 1980 Presidential Election wasn’t interesting because of the end result, but because of everything that led up to it. All of the background that led up to the 1980 presidential election. All of the backstories that were behind the 1980 presidential election. From both parties that made the 1980 general elections one of the most fascinating general elections America has ever had.

On the Democratic side you had a President in Jimmy Carter, whose approval rating was lower than a baby dwarf. And because of that was facing a primary challenge from a very popular politician in the Democratic Party. Who was probably the most popular Democrat in America when Senator Ted Kennedy. But if you want to know how not to run a presidential campaign, look at the 1980 Kennedy Campaign for President. Ted Kennedy is the author of the book, How Not to Run For President. He wrote the bestselling book while campaigning for president.

I mean look at their theme, “vote for Ted Kennedy because I’m a Kennedy”. Which is basically like saying “vote for me because I’m Jesus Christ”. Actually that wasn’t the Kennedy Campaign theme, they didn’t have one. Senator Kennedy didn’t even know why he was running for President. So he settled on, “vote for me because I’m a Kennedy! My brothers were Jack and Bobby, what else do you need!”

And on the Republican side you had an actor playing the role as the frontrunner! His best role and movie ever that people actually went to see and enjoyed. But the difference being that Ron Reagan didn’t make a dime from this movie, it all went to his campaign. Running against George H.W. Bush, the Manager in Chief. “Vote for George Bush because I have a great resume. I know how to run things.” George Bush had a hard time inspiring QBs to throw the ball. Or getting dogs to bark, but he did have a hell of a résumé.

2008 was a great Presidential Election, but mostly because of everything that led into the general election. Because after the economy crashed in September and Barack Obama passed the tests in the debates, most of the country that wasn’t living in a mental institution and was alive, knew that Senator Obama was going to be the next President of the United States.

Again because America still saw Ron Reagan as a bit of a risk, wasn’t sure if Reagan was ready for the greatest role of his life. A movie that people would actually see, it wasn’t until late October that we knew he was going to be the President. And after he passed those tests the competitive part of Election Day 1980 as far as the presidential election was over around 5PM Pacific Coast Time. One of the biggest blowouts in American political history.

Perhaps Not the Mark Russell You Were Thinking of

Perhaps Not the Mark Russell You Were Thinking of

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This post was originally posted at The New Democrat on Blogger

President Bill Clinton was the Comedian in Chief. Because, For one he has a great sense of humor and has always had that and if you live the life he has, the life of riding a roller coaster full-time. Having to stop to vomit because of all of those rides and going from being up one second to falling flat on your face (the clean version) the next second, you would have to have a great sense of humor and be able to make fun of yourself to keep your sanity.

But President Clinton was also Comedian in Chief because of the time he was president. Running and getting elected President of the United States at the birth of the internet. Email and websites already up by 1992 and of course those things having not been fully developed. Like they were in the mid and late 1990s, but they were already there. Cell phones already around by 1992 and the phones you saw then look like the phones you saw by 1995 when cell phones became popular and cool and almost universal.

The twenty-four hour news cycle was big by the early 1990s and just got bigger during the Clinton Administration. With cable news plus the internet to go along with television and radio news along with print media. With these news organizations being addicted to the twenty-four hour news cycle. Having to be the first to report on a story that five people care about. Otherwise it could cost them a tenth of one rating point, or an entire newspaper or magazine subscription.

President Clinton was also Comedian in Chief because of his hate squad, I mean opposition. Who actually turned out to be his best friends who saved him from himself. Because the American people had already decided they liked President Clinton and the job he was doing. And already accepted his flaws and decided they really didn’t like his opposition. Especially since these overly moral and extremely perfect people just also happened to be guilty of the same things that they were accusing President Clinton of. House Speaker Newt Gingrich comes to mind in a hot second. Who needs friends when you have enemies like this?

Once you become President of the United States, the number one sacrifice you give up and sacrifice is your privacy. The whole world is going to know about the same mistakes you and they make. Like having affairs when you are married with a daughter to a women half your age. Or raising money from other countries and you also have to know that your best friends, I mean opposition is going to accuse you of making the same mistakes and doing the same things they’ve done which is just the price of high power.

Comedian in Chief

Comedian in Chief

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This post was originally posted at The New Democrat on Blogger

You want to know why there’s so much hot air in Washington? For one its in an area that gets about five months of summer. Sometimes more, hot humid endless summers at times, where people pray for rain. Which only makes the area hotter and more humid but these summer showers all five- minutes of them do give us some temporary relief. Another reason for hot air is we are the seat of power for not only the United States but North America and the rest of the world.

We are an area of six-million people where people from all over the world come to express their five- minutes worth. And get to tell Congress exactly what they are thinking in order to get their help. And when they talk to senators, senators get to speak until they decide to shut up. Or there are sixty votes to tell Sen. Hot Air and their allies, to “shut the hell up! Or there’s a Blizzard in South Florida, you know whatever comes first, it used to be worst.

Up until 1975 it took 67 votes to kill a filibuster, which meant that 34 Senators could defeat 66. If you’re a sports fan that probably makes as much sense as the team with twenty-one points beating the team with forty-two in a football game. I don’t have a problem with the current sixty vote rule. I do believe in things like minority rights. So there’s some type of check and balance in Congress both in the House and Senate. And that the Minority Leader the Leader of the Minority Caucus and Ranking Members the Leaders of the minority memberships of Committees, should be more than just their caucus’s Chief Spokesperson’s but that they shouldn’t be able to rule the Senate like they are in charge.

Two problems with the Senate and there are problems with the House as well, but since this blog is about the filibuster, which only happens in the Senate (Thank God!) I’m just going to focus on the Senate. Can you imagine a filibuster in the House, with 435 Representatives being able to talk until they run out of breath, or 261 votes are gathered to get them to, shut the hell up! “You’re not the only one with nonsense to say!” You think there’s already too much hot air in Congress now, have a filibuster rule both in the Senate and House.

There would be so much hot air in the House, people could do their sun tanning on the House floor. No more weekend getaways to Florida or Southern California paid for by lobbyists because they could do that on the House floor. But the two main problems with the Senate have to do with two rules, one of them needs to be replaced. The other needs to be thrown away like the piece of trash that it is. The trash is the Motion to Proceed Rule, get this it currently takes 60 votes just to move to a bill in order to debate a bill.

Which makes the Leader of the Senate as weak as what the Vice President use to be, before the President gave them a real job. The Leader should just be able to call up any bill that they put on the Senate agenda. Thats passed out of committee or that the Leader and Minority Leader call up together under Emergency Rule. And this way the Senate would look more like a PTA meeting, or the United Nations. Because things would actually get accomplished in the Senate.

The Senate Rule that should be replaced is the is the Cloture Rule better known as the filibuster. I would replace that with a Motion to Table, that could only be made by the Leader or Minority Leader. After a Senate Debate has concluded, no more blocking amendments, just have those need 60 votes to pass anyway. So controversial amendments would have to pass an extra level to pass, as well as forcing them to be relevant to the legislation.

Reforms like this an establishing a real Rules Committee in the Senate and make that bipartisan. And then we would actually see something strange in the Senate, senators working and producing. Instead of just showing up and getting a great tan from all of their own Hot Air.

Right to Hot Air

Right to Hot Air

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Congressional Logic

Congressional Logic


CNN: Political Ticker: Jeremy Diamond & Eric Weisbrod: Congress Defined as Useless, Worthless, A Joke

This post was originally posted at The New Democrat on Blogger

I’m not an expert on this, but when your profession or institution is ranked somewhere down where lawyers, used car salesman and conman are ranked when it comes to your popularity, commonsense tells you that it is time to reevaluate the job that you are doing and perhaps your profession. Congress right now and that includes both the House and Senate (for all you Progressives out there) has an approval rating somewhere around ten-percent. And since I’m in a generous mood I gave them the ten. Like to meet that ten-percent and see if any of them are not living in mental institutions or perhaps addicted to some type of drug.

The United States Congress makes the United Nations look effective. That is real hard to do because the United Nations a lot of times looks like nothing more than a debating society if that and not even a real good one. Where not much more than pre-rehearsed talking points are exchanged. With not a lot of individual creating thinking going on. Especially from people who are supposed to be diplomats and lawyers. Well that is Congress and both chambers. Instead of trying to pass legislation and working with each other to get something that the President can actually sign that would address the problem passed. They blame the other side for why nothing has been done.

Congress is so pathetic (again being generous) that they can’t even pass the bills that they are required to by law and under the Constitution. The Federal budget is supposed to be passed by April. The Democratic Senate claims that they don’t have to pass a budget. And they say something to the effect “you can’t make us anyway!”. One of their twelve-year old speechwriters probably gave them that Pulitizer caliber writing on that one. Congress is supposed to pass what thirteen appropriations bills by what September. They haven’t passed one yet and at least the Republican House has passed a few.

Congress doesn’t pass budgets and appropriations bills anymore because if they did that then Representatives and Senators might have time to actually read the bills. And then decide they can’t vote for that because it is garbage legislation (again being generous) or it may hurt them in the next election. So what they do is lump a four-trillions dollar budget (big part of the problem right there) that includes all of the appropriations bills in what and what only Congress calls an omnibus bill. Which is a clever way is saying a large sack of garbage that nobody wants to put their hands through and see what is in it. Because they don’t want to know.

Still wondering why Congress is so unpopular? If you are, perhaps you’ve just come home from a ten-year vacation in an Afghan cave with no access to any outside information. Or have been in a coma for the last 10-15 years. You would’ve had to, to be that clueless about the U.S. Congress assuming you are an American.

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